WELCOME TO THE VILLAGE FOR MAMA POSTPARTUM STORIES SERIES, WHERE WE CHAT WITH SOME OF OUR FAVOURITE MAMAS ON THEIR BIRTH, POSTPARTUM EXPERIENCE AND HOW THEY GATHERED THEIR VILLAGE.
Jules, you are the wonderful mama behind Flo to Grow and a postpartum doula, dedicated to providing informed care, guidance, and general support to families during this season of parenthood. I would absolutely love for you to share a little about yourself, your postpartum experiences and the birth and evolution of Flo to Grow.
Hello, I’m Jules, and I’m delighted to share a bit about my journey into motherhood and the postpartum space.
I’m a proud mother of two wonderful boys and have a background in corporate strategy. Married to a very dedicated gentleman from NYC, we spent most of our time together before kids in Bondi, NSW. Recently our family have embarked on a new season of life in Singapore.
It was after the birth of my first baby that my career took a significant turn. Like many new parents, my husband and I were caught off guard by the immense changes that parenthood brought into our lives. We had both become accustomed to the fast-paced, cyclical rhythm of our careers and self care, and suddenly, everything came to a full halt with the arrival of our little one. The demands of caring for a newborn were overwhelming for us both and we were not prepared in the slightest.
What struck us the most was the unexpected temperament of our first baby. We were unprepared for the challenges it presented and found ourselves struggling to cope. It was a period of immense learning and growth as we navigated the complexities of parenting and self-discovery.
Driven by my experience, I felt compelled to explore the postpartum space further. I sought education and training through The Newborn Mothers Collective and Circle of Security Parenting Program, delving into the intricacies of postpartum care, maternal wellness, parenting young children and doula support. This journey has been incredibly transformative for me personally and has fuelled my passion for helping families navigate postpartum and early parenthood with evidence-based information, informed support, and empowerment.
Now, as a postpartum doula, I am dedicated to providing informed care, guidance, and general support to families during this season into parenthood. It’s a privilege to be part of such a transformative and meaningful experience for families.
The lack of accessible resources and the overwhelming nature of the postpartum inspired me to channel my passion into creating a business that could make a meaningful difference in the lives of new parents. Continuity of care after you’ve had your baby if you like.
Flo to Grow has become an integral part of my motherhood journey, allowing me to merge my professional expertise, personal experiences, and passion for supporting families. Through my business, I have been able to provide holistic postpartum care, education, and resources to families, empowering them to navigate the fourth trimester and beyond with confidence and resilience. It has been incredibly rewarding to witness the positive impact of my services on families’ well-being and to be a part of their season into parenthood.
As my family grows and evolves, so does Flo to Grow. The business continues to adapt, grow, and expand its offerings to meet the changing needs of families at different stages of their parenthood journey. This evolution mirrors my own experiences and challenges as a mother, ensuring that Flo to Grow remains a trusted source of support and guidance for families through every season of parenthood.
Oof, what a question!
I completely agree that postpartum planning/preparation is often overlooked, despite its profound impact on the entire motherhood journey. I’ve had two very different birth experiences and both my birth experiences have been quite impactful in shaping not only my postpartum experience, but the way in which I parent.
My first experience was extremely challenging and disempowering throughout pregnancy and birth, involving unnecessary medical interventions that resulted in a longer recovery period and added emotional complexities in postpartum. I was induced due to a ‘big baby’ and maternal age (36). Not being informed enough led to a cascade of intervention resulting in an “emergency C-section”. This experience made me acutely aware of the importance of informed decision making throughout pregnancy and birth. Those decision points can not only affect your birth experiences, but also how it can then influence your postpartum experience and overall health. I had undiagnosed PPD and felt utterly awful for the first 10 months postpartum and I strongly believe that this is a result of being disempowered throughout my pregnancy and birth and also not understanding the importance of your nervous system in parenting.
I felt extremely confused and isolated throughout postpartum. We just weren’t equipped mentally or emotionally to cope with what I was feeling and the added challenge of a difficult temperament was what broke both my partner and I. It always felt like I was the only one in the mothers group having a difficult time, and this only made isolation and well-being worse. I did not have anyone caring for me, I did not have adequate nourishment to support me both physically and emotionally, a truckload of breastfeeding challenges, a ‘good girl’ mentality, and my mood was always low.
(NB my husband also struggled with postpartum mood challenges. This led to him not being able to cope/care for me in postpartum).
Hindsight was the driving force behind my commitment to founding Flo to Grow. After I regained my confidence through a lot of research and therapy, I knew I wasn’t the only one who had felt this. I knew that I needed to talk about it so that other mothers did not feel as alone as I did and had the opportunity to take back their power. The first step for me was evidence-based knowledge. Knowledge is power.
My second birth was quite the opposite. I knew going into this birth that there would be a lot of advocacy required as I was birthing in the hospital setting again, but I also had 2 years to prepare for my second birth (really a healing birth).
Even though I had previously completed birth education with my first, it didn’t teach me the importance of informed decision making, the power of my body and the trust that is required in birth. I embarked on the 12-hour 1:1 hypnobirthing classes (as well as continued research around birth experience), and this truly transformed the way in which I navigated advocacy in pregnancy and then how I birthed (VBAC). My second baby was born in hospital, 40+3 after my waters broke. 4 hours door to door, with nothing but a birth comb. I stood in my power that entire labour and birth, and it was the most powerful experience I have ever encountered in my life.
This experience bled into my second postpartum experience. What a beautiful time mothers and their babies can have! I was in bed for 20 days straight, I was calm. I felt the high of all my hormones, I had a meal train, I felt strong, I was happy. A huge element of me feeling this was due to a confinement nanny, something practised in Eastern cultures. We had a confinement nanny with us from Singapore who practises Chinese confinement for 30 days as well as helping with our toddler. This was a huge game changer. I felt relaxed, which is incredible to say about early postpartum. I was held, I had people around me and who came into my intention who I knew could hold space for me. It was magical and it was thanks to my first experience. I want every mother and baby dyad to experience this.
NB: Having the confinement nanny meant we had to make financial cuts and the biggest cut for this was having a birth doula. This is the only reason why we didn’t have a birth doula, but I did have to inform myself up to my eyeballs.
My recovery from both births had a significant impact on my postpartum experience. After my first birth, my early postpartum was challenging. The physical discomfort and limitations during recovery from a C-section added to the emotional complexities I was already facing. This made it difficult for me to fully engage in early motherhood and affected my overall well-being during that period. My body also took a long time to recover from the drugs I was given during surgery and early postpartum to manage pain. I ended up switching to panadol on day 2 as I was too out of it to hold my baby.
I found recovering from a C-section slow, which, in a way, was a bit of a gift as I was very used to the fast-paced lifestyle before motherhood. Additionally, as a first-time mother, I had a very underdeveloped nervous system and had never understood or engaged with how it plays a part in life. This left me feeling very strung out during my first postpartum.
In contrast, after my second birth, my postpartum experience was much smoother but did have its own challenges. I had a tear from birth, and I wasn’t prepared for how this would impact breastfeeding. I found it uncomfortable to sit, so side-lying was optimal. Although I experienced some nipple damage from side-lying feeding due to newborns being so tiny, I was able to mitigate this quickly with my IBCLC on hand. The quicker physical recovery allowed me to focus more on bonding with my baby and toddler, managing breastfeeding challenges, and enjoying the early days of motherhood without the added strain of prolonged physical discomfort.
The biggest aspect I noticed in this postpartum was the high that you ride after a physiological birth. I was elated for weeks on end! This was a huge difference from my first birth experience where there was no such thing as cloud 9.
I underwent a lot of nervous system therapy throughout my transition from one baby to two. This was incremental in navigating postpartum the second time around, especially with an extremely active 2-year-old.
The difference in my recovery experiences not only directly impacted how I navigated both my postpartum’s and how I parent, but also how I practise as a doula, highlighting the importance of being informed and mapping for various birth outcomes in shaping the early weeks and months of motherhood.
Rest and Sleep (when you can get it): Ensuring adequate rest and sleep is crucial for recovery. I prioritise getting enough restorative sleep each night and take naps during the day whenever possible. Bed was 6pm every night while my husband took the baby and brought him in for feeds. If you can’t sleep, be horizontal.
Meal Train – Nutritious Diet: Eating nourishing and balanced meals is essential for replenishing energy levels, supporting healing and aiding breastfeeding. I focused on consuming nutrient-dense foods that provide essential vitamins and minerals. I also took supplements throughout and continue to.
Sunlight: Exposure to natural sunlight has numerous benefits for physical and mental well-being. I created a nook in my bedroom where I would aim to spend some time each day to soak in sunlight and boost my mood.
Hydration: Staying hydrated is vital for overall health and recovery. I make sure to drink plenty of water throughout the day to keep my body hydrated to meet the demands of breastfeeding.
Emotional Support: Prioritising emotional well-being is key. I seeked support from loved ones, engaged in self-care practices like breathwork or meditation, and considered professional support if needed.
Boundaries and Self-Care: Setting boundaries and making time for self-care activities that nourish me mentally and emotionally are non-negotiable. This includes taking breaks (from everyone), indulging in my vices, or simply spending quiet moments with my first baby while dad minded the newborn.
Professional Support: Utilising professional support was HUGE in my second postpartum. These can be in the form of a postpartum doula, lactation consultants, nanny, cleaner, and/or therapist, if needed, to address any specific concerns or challenges during postpartum.
Balancing rest and caring for a newborn can indeed be challenging, but I found ways to prioritise moments of rest during my postpartum:
Accepting/ Asking for Help: I learned to accept/ ask for help from my partner, family members, hired help and friends. They would take over baby care/ toddler duties for short periods, allowing me to rest or nap. I was extremely strict on this.
Creating a Restful Environment: I made my bedroom a cosy and calming space conducive to rest. Soft lighting, comfortable bedding, and soothing sounds/ scents helped create an environment conducive to relaxation. I always find engaging all my senses calms me.
Napping When Possible/ Sleep Hygiene: Instead of trying to sleep for long stretches, I embraced short naps whenever I could. Even a 10-15 minute nap can provide a much-needed energy boost. I also made it a rule (and it still is) that my husband takes the babies at 6am every morning and I sleep until 8am. We then tag team and he goes to work. I realised that this is a privilege. Bedtime is still always before 9pm.
Prioritising Self-Care: I recognised that taking care of myself was essential for caring for my baby. I prioritised self-care that helped me relax. Things like a hot cup of tea alone, taking a warm bath, or an in-home massage.
I love Dr Oscar Serrallach’s framework:
‘Tiny things frequently (20 sec or so), Small things daily, Big things once a week and Bigger things once in a while.‘
Adjusting Expectations: I let go of the idea of achieving perfection or getting everything done. Instead, I focused on what was essential and allowed myself to rest when needed. Even if it meant leaving some tasks undone. I still practise this 5 months postpartum.
My mantra is ‘rest in the mess’.
Using Baby’s Sleep Cues: I learned to recognise my baby’s sleep cues and used those moments to rest alongside them. By syncing my rest with their sleep patterns, I could maximise the opportunities for restorative rest. Cued led care is also very stress free for me, so it definitely helps not watching the clock.
We brought an esky into the hospital with a couple meals for after birth. As I required surgery, I was STARVING once I was on the postpartum ward.
We (husband and I) had a chicken soup made with Elan House of Wellness ‘Herborium Restore Herbal Soup’.
I am a big soup gal! So I did a lot of prepping on those pre-baby and then asked for these in the meal train. My absolute non-negotiables are:
I didn’t have a large tribe of support during my postpartum, but I was fortunate to have a few key individuals who formed my “village” of support. These individuals had a profound impact on my postpartum experience:
Partner/ confinement nanny: Both my partner and confinement nanny were my primary supports during postpartum. They helped with baby care, household chores, warming my meals and bringing them into bed (all day) and provided emotional support. Their presence made a significant difference in navigating the challenges of early motherhood. This was a very different experience from our first postpartum. We did a lot of work around how to support both of us with the adjustment this time around.
Family Members: While we didn’t have extended family nearby, my immediate family members were around but they all have children of their own and are busy working on top of being mothers. They offered support through regular phone check-ins, food drop offs, and words of encouragement.
Close Friends: A few close friends acted as pillars of support. They contributed to our meal train and some popped over when I was ready for visitors to decompress with whatever was on my mind. No one stayed longer than 1.5hrs.
Healthcare Providers: My lactation consultant, psychologist, and other healthcare providers played a crucial role in my postpartum. Having a relationship with them before baby number 2 came was invaluable.
Online Communities: It’s a funny thing, but through Flo to Grow I have a beautiful online community. Some clients and people I had met through my circles dropped meals over. My doula community would come and visit and help decompress. It was so beautiful to have this care come full circle.
Having a confinement nanny agree to come to Australia with us and care for me and my family. I will forever be grateful for her and how her company allowed me to experience what I did.
I LOVE this question, I am a huge advocate in preparing for breastfeeding before the baby arrives. I had breastfeeding challenges with both my babies and know how quickly it can affect your mental health. Both my babies were so different in the ways they fed in those early weeks. Something I always tell my clients is that the history of how you breastfed does not determine how the next experience will play out.
The demand of breastfeeding isn’t loud enough. It is a mammoth task and with anything that huge, preparation is key.
My top tips:
It’s all encompassing. You need to understand your nervous system. You need to go slow. Rest. Be gentle with yourself. Treat yourself with respect.
Oooh can I pick 3?!
