I knew I wanted to wean the twins around the time they turned two. The night feeds were wearing me down—we were still waking several times, and I was deep in the trenches of sleep deprivation. I’d started gently redirecting or distracting them for a few feeds during the day, trying to slowly cut down.

Then, out of nowhere, something shifted. They just… stopped feeding at night.

Each of them began waking only once or twice a night wanting to feed. I gently said “no,” and to my complete surprise, they rolled over and went back to sleep. It was so easy, I didn’t even know it was happening until it was done. We were night-weaned… or so I thought.

That didn’t last. Shortly after, they both got gastro. We moved house. Life got chaotic. The night wakes returned, and with them, the night feeds. Everything felt unsettled, and I knew we needed to find our rhythm again before I could wean them properly.

Approaches to Weaning

I’ve shared a big journal in the past about weaning, my story with my daughter, along with reflections from other mamas in the Village and how they approached it. You can read that blog here: Weaning – How To End Your Breastfeeding Journey. I won’t go too deeply into all the different methods here, because there’s so much explored in that journal already, but I will say this:

There isn’t one “right” way to wean. For some, it’s slow and gradual. For others, it’s more of a clear boundary and a quicker transition.

Whether you decide to gradually reduce feeds, night-wean first, go cold turkey, or try a combination, the best approach is the one that feels right for you and your baby.

This is especially true with twins, because they may respond better to different approaches. One of mine night-weaned in two nights, the other took four, and the reverse was true for their day feeds. You might find yourself trying a few different strategies until you land on what works best.

I think all up I spent over 4 months gradually weaning the twins. I don’t think I anticipated it taking so long but I also found once I reduced most of the daytime feeds and then night weaned, I was happy continuing with the bedtime and morning feed.

I thought the hardest part of weaning would be the last transition, when I’d finally stop feeding them to sleep at night. But that ended up being the easiest. By the time I did their final bedtime feed, they were ready, and comfortable with it. I waited until a night they were both really tired, layered up, and gently told them, “just cuddles tonight.” They both curled into me and fell asleep.

Sometimes your weaning journey is quick and straightforward. Sometimes it’s non-linear. And sometimes, your little people really surprise you.

What matters most is that you feel ready—and that you have the energy and support you need.

Our Night Weaning Process, Take Two

The second time round felt harder. I’d tried a few nights of gently saying no, and was met with the loudest, most intense protests. One of my twins would wake the whole house up—he was so furious I’d said no.

It wasn’t the approach I wanted to take, so I paused and waited until I’d had a few okay nights’ sleep and felt like I had the capacity to ride the emotional rollercoaster.

I know it’s often said that big changes for little ones, like weaning or removing a dummy, usually take about three days, so I buckled up for three tough nights. It ended up being four, but we got there.

One of the twins found this process okay. I think he just wanted to get away from the noise and screaming made by the other! After a small protest two nights in a row, he happily cuddled up with my husband and went back to sleep.

I, on the other hand, just comforted and soothed the other through his big feelings. At that point, I felt it would be more unfair and confusing to randomly give in and feed him. I stuck to my word and kept talking him through it.

It even involved some midnight drives around the neighbourhood to help him settle back to sleep. But by night five, he accepted that we were no longer feeding overnight and slept through until morning to have his first feed.

I will add that at this point, I was still feeding the twins to sleep at bedtime. During that feed, I’d talk to them about saying “night night” to milk until the morning. Then, we’d have our morning feed on the couch to separate it from night feeds.

Here are some other things that helped the process:

• Wearing a night bra and T-shirt: To reduce cues and access.
• Changing the narrative: We talked about “no more boobie until tomorrow,” giving them phrases to repeat back.
• Comfort replacements: Warm milk in a sippy cup, cuddles, sleeping in our bed.
• Expecting resistance: One twin protested with tears and screams, the other adjusted more easily. We took walks, offered comfort, rode the waves.
• Staying consistent: I knew going back would be confusing for them. After four hard nights, it shifted.

Weaning Is a Transition for Everyone

What we often forget is that weaning isn’t just a transition for babies—it’s a huge shift for mothers too.

These little humans have been fed and comforted by my body since the moment they were born. Breastfeeding was more than milk. It was their source of nourishment, comfort, and safety. Taking that away can be confronting, for them and for us.

And while we talk a lot about the emotional journey for our kids, we don’t talk nearly enough about what this process does to us as mothers.

What Happens When We Wean: The Emotional and Hormonal Shift

Breastfeeding gives us consistent doses of oxytocin, that feel-good, calming hormone that relaxes our nervous system. When that oxytocin tap is suddenly turned off, it’s no wonder we can feel like we’ve been hit by a truck.

Some mothers experience what’s known as post-weaning depression—mood swings, anxiety, low motivation, disturbed sleep, even physical symptoms like headaches or nausea. The hormonal shift can be massive, especially after feeding two toddlers for two years around the clock.

What helped me most was knowing this is normal. It doesn’t mean anything is wrong, it just means our bodies are adjusting.d me most was knowing this is normal. It doesn’t mean anything is wrong, it just means our bodies are adjusting.

Supporting Yourself Through Weaning

Here’s what I did (and what I’d recommend) to support yourself through this season:

Herbal support – You might like to try gelatinised maca or the I am Gaia superherbs mushroom blend in your morning smoothie to help balance your system and support your nervous system.

Slow the transition when you can – Reduce feeds gradually and replace them with other comfort cues: stories, bum pats, cuddly toys, music.

Reducing milk supply – When you gradually wean, your supply often reduces naturally. If you need extra support, sage tea or a sage tincture can help reduce milk production. Cabbage leaves (washed and chilled) can help with engorgement.

Rest as much as possible – Sleep disruption and hormone changes are hard on your nervous system. Rest wherever you can.

Nourish your body – Support your hormone health with nutrient-dense food. Avoid excessive caffeine and sugar if you can.

Look after your mental health – Weeping, anxiety, irritability and feeling “off” are common. Talk to your midwife, GP, IBCLC, or a psychologist if it feels heavy.

Touch still matters – More cuddles, more closeness. Massage (from your partner or a professional) can be amazing during this time—oxytocin is still your friend.

Final Thoughts From our Last Feed

Weaning is emotional, hormonal, physical. It’s a goodbye to a chapter you’ve likely spent years living in. It’s normal to feel untethered, emotional, or even unwell. But it’s also a beautiful milestone, and one that deserves to be met with support and kindness.

If you’re in this season too, be kind to yourself. Nourish your body, rest, talk to someone you trust, and remember—your baby will be okay, and so will you.