WELCOME TO THE VILLAGE FOR MAMA POSTPARTUM STORIES SERIES, WHERE WE CHAT WITH SOME OF OUR FAVOURITE MAMAS ON THEIR BIRTH, POSTPARTUM EXPERIENCE AND HOW THEY GATHERED THEIR VILLAGE. 

Sammy, you are the beautiful mama behind by Sammy Lee where you share the most wonderful and raw mama musings. I would absolutely love for you to share a little about yourself, your postpartum experiences and your motherhood journey.

Firstly, would you like to introduce yourself and share a little about you and your family? 

Sammy Lee, I live on the Surfcoast with my loves; husband Craig, almost 3 year old toddler and 4 month old baby boy. I share natural mothering musings via @by.sammylee.

CAN YOU SHARE A LITTLE ABOUT THE BIRTH OF NATURAL MOTHERING MUSINGS AND HOW IT FITS INTO YOUR MOTHERHOOD JOURNEY? DO YOU HAVE A POSTPARTUM MUSING THAT YOU WANT TO SHARE TO START US OFF?

Matrescence is a big experience and I had no idea how complex/ transformative/ insightful/ perplexing it would be. So I started writing… writing to process the experience of birth and beyond. I have no doubt that pursuing a natural birth led me to natural mothering. Yet I felt like a rebel, rebelling interventions, inventions and instructions, to follow instinct and intuition, and I decided to share my observations, for contemplation. As I believe collectively we can do better to support mothers and bubbas. And we have normalised so much, that isn’t actually that normal.

While birthing I said;

There is just no pause,

The surges were relentless,

As I ride the waves of sensations.

Now mothering I realise;

There is still no pause,

The love is relentless,

As we ride the waves of each day.

Waves.

We so often prepare for the birth and forget to prepare for postpartum. Something else we don’t tend to acknowledge is how much the birth can impact your postpartum experience. What type of birth did you have?

I have had two home births, supported by an incredible private midwife (Leisa Gittings). First was posterior, long labour, and a water birth. Second was an emotional dance between mothering (I wanted my toddler present) and birthing, and land birth. Both babies were over 40 weeks, over 4 kilos and sturdy. I placed so much emphasis on my first birth, and not enough on the reality of postpartum, but the birth and postpartum taught me so much, so I am currently navigating my fourth trimester with much more understanding, gentleness and ease (even with my toddler in tow).

How was your recovery from birth and did it impact your postpartum experience?

My first postpartum required more physical recovery, as I tore, so I enlisted support from a physio who helped me heal, while I was finding my way through newborn life and decisions that felt right for me/us (bed sharing/ breast sleeping/ baby wearing). My second postpartum is focussing on hydration and nourishment, as I am tandem feeding my baby and toddler, on demand.

What are your non-negotiables for postpartum recovery?

A meal train (receiving food is the greatest gift, and not just within the first forty days), a 2 litre water bottle (preferably topped up by a loved one, regularly), and a cocoon, where the sacredness of the time is honoured, allowing as much horizontal time as possible (my baby boy loves to sleep on my chest, so he got the memo about keeping me horizontal to allow rest and recovery).

I adore the first forty day philosophy of receiving, resting and recovering. I have always felt; as long as the mother is ok, the baby is ok.

And believe we, collectively, need to better hold the mothers, not the babies (unless the mother asks). As it’s intense, we are so intensely needed in the first three years, not just in the first forty days. 

We are often told to sleep when the baby sleeps which can feel impossible. Yet rest is so essential for postpartum recovery! Did you manage to have moments of rest during your postpartum and how did you achieve these?

It’s so hard to sleep (during the day) when you can’t stop staring at your new addition, plus I found the hormones made me so alert. So I prioritise rest, being horizontal, soaking in contact naps. Breastfeeding lying down is the best invention ever, to allow rest, so I always feed lying down when I can. And I choose to bedshare/breast sleep overnight so I don’t get up, I am right there to respond to my baby and toddler, by feeding them back to sleep.

I soon realised, when we had our first, we didn’t need the cot, we needed a king bed, and now with two, I wish we had a super king.

What mothers do on disturbed sleep is incredible, I just wish there was more understanding of what is biologically normal as I feel there would be more support, honouring and flexibility for mothers during this time. 

There are some things we never forget and I think the first meal you have after birth is one of them! What was the first thing you ate after giving birth?

Congee, made with broth and spices. I adore congee so much, it feels so nourishing, warming and nutritious. Like a hug in a bowl. That was after I shared Manuko bites with my midwives to celebrate birth.

What were your favourite meals during your postpartum?

Congee (savoury or sweet), ginger fried rice, kitchari, dahl, bolognaise.

With plenty of reachable snacks; particularly bliss balls, lactation cookies.

And Tea Thief Boobie Brew, tonics, raspberry leaf tea with copious amounts of warm water (with a dash of himilayan salt) in my two litre bottle.

A village can be one person, it doesn’t have to be a tribe of support! Did you have a village of support for your postpartum? How did they impact your postpartum experience?

With my firstborn, it was about two years in when I looked back and realised how much I had done on my own (combining living in a new location, no family around (ours live in another state and England) and a time of plenty of ‘rules’ to navigate). Sometimes building a village takes time. And each family is navigating so much. I realised that some people step away and others step closer, which is all part of the process. I have some incredible mothers in my life, and love supporting those coming through. 

In terms of support my midwife wisely said ‘the better you look, the less support you receive’ but I just wish we all rallied around mothers with infants. It’s just so important. 

If there is one question I wish all mothers were regularly asked, it would be; ‘what do you need right now?’ As I can guarantee a list would be an outpour of what is resting on our shoulders that hasn’t been in reach of us doing, with our lack of hands, but easily helped by another.

What was the most helpful thing someone did for you during your postpartum?

My best friend came over before birth, for the weekend, and she cooked and made as many meals, and bliss balls as possible, for my freezer. So postpartum, I was stocked with food I could grab and be nourished by, always remembering her kindness and our weekend. It was such a beautiful gesture, and complemented our meal train, which we gratefully received.

Something that most mums are most surprised by is breastfeeding. It is biologically normal yet rarely comes naturally and often impacts our postpartum experience. It is also something we spend the most time doing during those early months! Would you like to share anything about your breastfeeding journey? Insights, tips or essential products?

I was lucky to have breastfeeding support when my firstborn arrived, by my midwife and a lactation consultant. The two decisions that have helped me most are choosing to breastfeed on demand (which has really helped with supply and wish to keep us close) and opting to breastfeed lying down when I can (which allows rest). I feed both my babies to sleep because breastsleeping (a term coined by James McKenna) works so well for us. 

I believe these decisions are why I adore breastfeeding and will continue to breastfeed my toddler and baby for however long works for us.

It is a commitment, devotional and also such a gift. 

What do you wish you had known or someone had told you about postpartum or what would you do differently next time round?

The first time around I suppose I wish I knew more about biological norms for both my baby and I. Postpartum feels more easeful this time around because I know so much more about the mother baby dyad, what helps and what disturbs it. I know no product can do what I can. I know how demanding this time is, so I always come back to pillars that keep me going, nutrition, hydration and overall well being. Plus simple days, and simple ways.

And lastly, what is your favourite recipe from the Village for Mama book?

The midnight muffins, such a nutritious one to grab at midnight or anytime, to help me keep up with feeding demands. My toddler loves them too!

AT VILLAGE FOR MAMA, WE ARE ALWAYS LOOKING FOR THE PERFECT WAYS TO SUPPORT NEW MAMAS ON THEIR POSTPARTUM JOURNEY. WE ASKED SAMMY WHAT HER POSTPARTUM ESSENTIALS ARE AND HERE IS HER LIST:

1. Bimby & Roy – so great for milky breasts that inflate and deflate. 
2. Frank Green – 2 litre bottle
3. Tea Thief –  Boobie Brew
4. Kindle – for reading
5. Book – The Nurture Revolution by Greer
6. Blockbluelight Red light – for seeing in the dark
7. Marsupi – baby carrier
8. RaisedGood Gather – Online resource and community