The Weight of Postpartum

Postpartum is huge. The shift—physically, emotionally, mentally—is like nothing else.

We talk a lot about holding the baby—skin-to-skin, responsive feeding, babywearing, contact naps. But we don’t talk enough about holding the mother.

The world keeps spinning after a baby is born. Life moves forward. But for the mother, everything has changed.

She is recovering from birth. She is bleeding, leaking, swollen, sore.
She is recalibrating emotionally—her hormones shifting, her nervous system rewiring.
She is learning to mother while still learning who she is now.

And yet, in those early weeks, all the focus is on the baby. Is the baby feeding? Sleeping? Gaining weight? Settling?

But who is holding the mother?

The Moment It Hit Me

A few days postpartum, my daughter was asleep on the bed, and I took a moment to shower. When I came out, my husband was lying next to her, half asleep. I climbed into bed between them, and he wrapped me in a hug.

And I just started sobbing.

“Oh Pal, what’s wrong?” he asked.

But nothing was wrong. I was happy. I was okay. I was just exhausted—physically, emotionally, in ways I had never felt before.

From the second she was born, I had been holding her. Every ounce of my love, awareness, attention, and protection was poured into this tiny little baby.

And in that moment, I realised how much I needed to be held too.

Matrescence: The Becoming of a Mother

That moment, lying in bed, wrapped in my husband’s arms, wasn’t just exhaustion. It was Matrescence—the process of becoming a mother.

The moment the penny dropped that I was never going to be my old self again.

Matrescence is often compared to adolescence—because just like puberty, it is a hormonal, psychological, emotional, and identity transformation. You are no longer who you were before, but you’re not quite sure who you are yet either.

It’s messy. It’s beautiful. It’s overwhelming.

And in a world that rushes new mothers back to normal, that tells them to bounce back, to be grateful, to hold their babies but not too much—it can feel incredibly lonely.

Because the truth is, mothers need to be held too.

You Never Get That First Postpartum Back

Yes, we are forever changing and evolving as mothers. We grow and we learn. But that initial transition from maiden to mother? That only happens once.

Hindsight is a beautiful thing. We don’t know what we don’t know. But that’s what a village is for, right?

A village shares wisdom, stories, support and nourishment. A village doesn’t just hold the baby—but holds the mother too.

Imagine if all first-time mamas had true preparation, care, and support around them.
Imagine if they had meals dropped at their door.
Imagine if they had people reminding them to rest (and facilitated it too).

Because the transition into motherhood isn’t meant to be done alone.

If You’re Preparing for Postpartum…

If you’re a mama-to-be, I want you to know this: How you are cared for is just as important as how your baby is cared for.

✔ Create a postpartum plan that holds both you and your baby – Check out my ebook ‘A Postpartum Guide‘
✔ Gather your Village of support both personal and professional – The Village for Mama Recipe cards help you gather your village, organise your meal train and set healthy support boundaries.

✔ You can also check out the whole village bundle which has everything you need for a well nourished and well supported postpartum and beyond.

Because you don’t have to do it all alone.

Want more around this topic?

If you want to dive into this a little deeper and explore the cultural shift from baby-centric care to mother centric care, you can read my thought piece over on substack.