Vulnerability isn’t often celebrated in our culture, but when it comes to motherhood, embracing it can be one of the most courageous and transformative things you do. As a new mum, asking for help isn’t just about lightening your load—it’s about opening yourself up to the support and care you truly deserve.

Motherhood brings immense joy, but it can also be incredibly challenging, especially in the early postpartum weeks and months. Society often glorifies the idea of the “supermum,” who juggles everything on her own without breaking a sweat. Our success as a mother seems to be defined by how quickly we bounce back and how unchanged we are by the whole experience. However, this narrative can lead to feelings of isolation, burnout, and even shame when reality doesn’t match up. What if, instead of striving to be ‘supermums’, we embraced our vulnerability and allowed others to support us? Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s a powerful tool for gathering your village.

Why Vulnerability is a Strength

Vulnerability is often misunderstood as a weakness, but it’s actually a source of profound strength. Brené Brown, a leading researcher on vulnerability, describes it as the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, and creativity. When we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, we open the door to deeper, more authentic connections with others. For new mothers, this can mean the difference between feeling isolated and feeling supported.

In the postpartum period, being vulnerable means acknowledging your needs—whether it’s physical help, emotional support, or just a listening ear. It’s about letting go of the expectation to do it all and allowing your village to step in and hold you.

The Science Behind Asking for Help

As women we are conditioned to care for others, and this significantly impacts our ability to receive help. What we don’t realise or acknowledge is what we are taking from others by not reaching out. Asking for help doesn’t just benefit you—it also has a positive impact on those around you. Neuroscience shows that acts of compassion and helping others trigger the release of feel-good chemicals in the brain, like dopamine and serotonin, creating what’s known as the “helper’s high.” When you ask someone to assist you, you’re giving them the opportunity to experience this which in turn is strengthening your relationship and bond in the process.

This ties into the Ben Franklin effect—a psychological phenomenon where someone who does you a favour ends up liking you more. By asking for help, you’re not only getting the support you need, but you’re also deepening your relationships and fostering a stronger, more connected community. 

How to Embrace Vulnerability in Your Postpartum Journey

If embracing vulnerability feels daunting, start small. Here are some practical steps to help you get started:

• Acknowledge and Accept Your Needs: The first step to embracing vulnerability is recognising and accepting that you need help. It’s okay to admit that you can’t do it all on your own—none of us can.
• Start Small: Begin by asking for help with something simple, like having a meal delivered or asking a friend to watch your older child for an hour. Small requests can build your confidence to ask for more significant help when needed.
• Use your Recipe Cards: Hand out your recipe cards, these are a brilliant tool for asking for help and nourishing food if you are overwhelmed by the idea of asking for help. They also take the guess work and stress out of helping which is a gift in itself.
• Share Your Story: Open up to your village about your postpartum experience. Sharing your story not only helps others understand what you’re going through but also creates a space for deeper connections and mutual support.
• Create a Culture of Care: When you model vulnerability and ask for help, you encourage others to do the same. This helps build a community where everyone feels supported and valued, creating a ripple effect of care and support.

Building a Stronger Village Through Vulnerability

Embracing vulnerability doesn’t just help you—it strengthens the entire village around you. When mothers are open about their needs and willing to ask for help, it encourages others to step up and offer their support. This creates a more connected and compassionate community where everyone feels involved and appreciated.

In today’s world, where many of us are far from our families and traditional support systems, building a modern village is essential. By embracing vulnerability and asking for help, you’re not only taking care of yourself but also contributing to a culture of care that benefits everyone. Which helps change our cultural narrative around postpartum and new mothers.

Vulnerability is not a weakness; it’s a superpower that allows you to build deeper, more meaningful connections with your village. As a new mum, you deserve to be cared for just as much as your baby, and asking for help is one of the most empowering things you can do. So, take a deep breath, reach out to your village, and know that in embracing your vulnerability, you’re creating a stronger, more supportive community for yourself and those around you.

Let’s build a world where asking for help is seen as a strength, and where every new mother feels enveloped in the care and compassion she deserves.