Father’s Day is a time to celebrate the incredible fathers in our lives but I also think it is a perfect opportunity to talk about their role in postpartum. While much of the postpartum conversation centres around mothers, it’s essential to recognise the pivotal role that fathers and partners play in supporting the postpartum journey. The weeks and months following birth are crucial for a mother’s physical recovery and emotional well-being. During this time, partners can make a profound impact, not just on the new mother, but on the entire family.

Understanding the Postpartum Period

The postpartum period, or the fourth trimester, is a time of significant adjustment for both parents. New mothers face physical recovery from birth, hormonal changes, and the challenge of caring for a new baby. This period can be overwhelming, and having a supportive partner can make all the difference. While the mother’s needs are often at the forefront, fathers also experience their own emotional shifts and responsibilities as they adapt to their new role. Recognising and addressing these needs is key to fostering a healthy, supportive family dynamic.

The Role of Fathers and Partners in Postpartum Recovery

Fathers and partners have an essential role in the postpartum period, not just as caregivers for the newborn but as supporters of the mother’s recovery. Their involvement can take many forms, each contributing to the well-being of the mother and the overall health of the family. Creating a postpartum plan and acknowledging the different ways dads can be part of the picture is essential for managing expectations and avoiding the ever common ‘do I look like I have my ‘mind reading hat’ on?!’. There are three key ways that dads and partners can be part of the postpartum picture.

1. Supporting Physical Recovery:
   Partners can ease the mother’s physical recovery by taking on household tasks that might otherwise add stress. This includes everything from cooking meals to managing laundry and cleaning. By shouldering these responsibilities, fathers give mothers the space to focus on their recovery and encourage them to stay horizontal which is essential during the early weeks.
2. Providing Emotional Support:
   The postpartum period can be emotionally challenging for new mothers, with feelings ranging from joy to anxiety and everything in between. Fathers can offer invaluable emotional support by being attentive listeners, offering reassurance, and acknowledging the mother’s efforts.
3. Active Involvement in Newborn Care:
   Taking an active role in newborn care not only strengthens the father-child bond but also gives the mama much needed breaks.

Practical Ways Fathers Can Help During Postpartum

Here are some practical ways that dads can step up and make a meaningful difference in postpartum:

1. Meal Preparation and Nourishment:
   Nutrition plays a vital role in postpartum recovery. Fathers can take the lead in preparing nourishing meals. They can be proactive in making sure there is always food and snacks available as well as filling up drink bottles and having these at arms reach.
2. Taking Over Household Chores:
   Postpartum recovery requires rest, which can be hard to come by when there are household chores to manage. Fathers can take charge of these tasks, ensuring that the home runs smoothly while the mother focuses on her recovery and the baby. Whether it’s doing the laundry, cleaning, or even handling grocery shopping, these efforts can greatly reduce the stress on the new mother. 
3. Caring for the Newborn:
   Fathers should feel empowered to take on as many baby duties as possible. From changing nappies to soothing the baby back to sleep, these tasks not only lighten the mother’s load but also build confidence and a stronger father-child bond. This involvement helps create a more balanced parenting dynamic too. So often new mums become the default parent and this can breed resentment and frustration further down the track. Remember it doesn’t have to be done your way or perfectly and it’s important to gives dad’s the opportunity to try, learn and build confidence in their own abilities.
4. Responsibilities of Siblings: As the family grows sometimes partners have less capacity to help with the newborn and focus more attention on older siblings. A new baby can shift the family dynamic and bring big feelings and emotions. Holding space for our little ones is a huge responsibility for dads too.
5. Providing Emotional Support:
   Emotional support is just as important as physical help. Fathers should regularly check in with their partners, offering a listening ear and emotional reassurance. This support can make a significant difference in helping the mother navigate the emotional ups and downs of the postpartum period.

A Supportive Partnership

A strong, supportive partnership is the foundation of a healthy family, especially during postpartum. Open communication is essential. Partners should make time for regular check-ins to discuss how they’re feeling, share concerns, and express appreciation for each other’s efforts. Remember that this is a fluid season which is deeply challenging but also rapidly changing. Things that were originally working may shift quickly and open and honest communication is so important.

A word of (D)advice 

For Father’s Day this year I thought I would ask some of my favourite mums on the ‘gram to ask their other halves for some wisdom and advice. I’m coining it (d)advice. I didn’t want to over complicate things so I settled on two simple questions. Their responses are filled with honesty, warmth, and invaluable insights that every new dad can benefit from. I think the more open communication between dads about how they are feeling, the changes and challenges they are facing, the better equipped dads are to show up for their partners and to thrive in family life.

Mike Stone  – Lael Stone

What I wish someone had told me about postpartum?

I wish I wasn’t told anything about postpartum… everything people shared was so negative and focussed on how much my life would be impacted – which it was, but in the greatest way!

Best dad advice for new dads?

My main piece of advice is to be present. Whether it is in passing between tasks or for days on end being a primary caregiver, being present is the greatest present we can offer ourselves and our children.

Ross Weaver – Mama Matters / Fiona Weaver 

What I wish someone had told me about postpartum?

I really wish I understood how much my relationship would change (especially on the first child). The time you once had to connect and be with your partner drastically changes and I really wish I had known how to be ready for this.

Best dad advice for new dads?

It’s the best thing that will ever happen to you…however, it can be lonely being a new dad, make time for yourself, go for a beer with mates and talk about it. 

And lastly never let anyone say you’re ‘babysitting’ your own kids. You’re Dadding embrace it!!! 

Nick Pearce – Recipearce

What I wish someone had told me about postpartum?

I thought it was just going to be a difficult phase that we could just push and get through and I felt like having done challenging things in my life I was well equipped to get through and deal with this extra thing but I wish someone told me that it doesn’t really work like that – your life is changing and you need to surrender to it. We were so burnt out at the 6 month mark. It doesn’t end and get easier, parenthood keeps going (hopefully forever) so you need to be realistic, it need to be sustainable, you need to prioritise time for yourself, time for each other and time for the kids. Make adjustments, be conscious of the changes as they happen, don’t resist them.

Best dad advice for new dads?

Surrender. Don’t try and live the life you lived before. It’s so easy to romanticise life when it was just you and your partner and when life might have seemed easier but I think dwelling on that and trying to make your current life like that is just not realistic and it can be toxic. And yes what you’re in is a season and as a new dad it can feel really hectic, but it is just a season and things will be different. Not always easier, but different. 

Don’t resist, surrender to family life – the parenting life is the best most rewarding thing that you have ever done. You get to experience life through the lens of kids again. You don’t have to sacrifice things that are important to you, you just need to work out your priorities and shift things around. 

A Postpartum Dream Team

Let’s acknowledge and celebrate the critical role that fathers and partners play in the postpartum journey. Their support, whether through practical help, emotional reassurance, or active involvement, makes a world of difference to new mothers. By working together, both partners can create a nurturing environment where the entire family can thrive.

What are your favourite ways your partner helped you in postpartum?